Huang Huanyan, 19, not only excelled in her academics, but also wrote and illustrated her own book: Brave Girl Not Eating. Despite being a well-rounded student, she struggled with the issue of body image. She has recently recovered from an Eating Disorder (ED) after seeking treatment four years into the illness.

 

She first showed signs of an ED at the early age of 11 and was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa with compulsive exercise in 2014. Subsequently, her condition worsened and she was hospitalised. 

 

“I always felt a need to hit a certain number on the scale, if not I’m not good enough,” she recalled. 

 

While she was an inpatient, she spent most of her time drawing on her sketchbook as it was her way of venting her emotions. Her sketchbook became her journal that records the journey through the depths of anorexia. Art Journaling was not only her therapeutic hobby, but it also led her to publish Brave Girl Not Eating, which is written for ED patients as well as those who know someone with an ED. 

 

At the age of 13, she enrolled in a girls’ school and struggled to adapt to the new environment. Cliques formed and unfortunately for Huanyan, she happened to be with friends who were obsessed with the American culture and losing weight despite their already slim physique. 

 

Huanyan recounts how her friends wrote offensive remarks about her appearance on her birthday card and these friends were part of her social circle throughout secondary school. 

 

Even as she starved herself, Huanyan admitted that she enjoyed the attention when others commented on her low food intake and skinny figure.

 

Research done by Singapore General Hospital (SGH) Eating Disorders Programme mentions peer pressure and being bullied about weight as two of the risk factors for EDs.

 

She remembers lying to her mother about what she ate for lunch. The situation became dire when

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“the doctor told my mom that my heart might stop at any moment”. 

 

Upon seeing a graphic video on the cruel methods when running a cattle ranch, Huanyan decided to adopt a vegan diet in 2016, due to her love for animals.  

 

Recently, Huanyan has been an active member of the vegan community in Singapore and even has a well-established vegan Instagram food account with over 2,000 followers.

 

According to the Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, having a history of an ED increases the likelihood of one adopting a vegetarian or vegan diet. 

 

However, Senior Dietitian Ms Charlotte Lin does not recommend a vegan diet for ED patients. 

 

“A vegan diet is very restrictive and someone who is recovering from an ED may have some nutrition deficiency,” said Ms Lin as she states how it can be difficult to ensure patients receive sufficient nutrients in a vegan diet.  

 

She recommends patients take their blood test to check for vitamin or nutrition deficiencies. Thereafter, patients should consult a nutritionist to ensure sufficient caloric consumption to help restore and maintain their weight. 

 

Her mother also had her initial concerns about veganism after the ED recovery. 

 

 

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I spent sleepless nights watching her, thinking that as long as she lives, I can accept any state she’s in,

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her mother says solemnly as she recalls the times she argued with Huanyan about eating. 

 

Although Mrs Huang, who refuses to give her first name, feels the vegan diet is less nutritious, she is glad as long as her daughter eats well and stays alive.

 

When Huanyan was asked who her biggest influence in life was, she responded without hesitation, “my mother”. She felt that her mother had helped to explain things from different perspectives, making her understand how her disorder had affected others in her life. 

 

“My mom aged so much because of it. She even got a bit suicidal because of me too,” she said wryly. 

 

Besides publishing the book, she decided to join the Raffles Peer Helpers Programme to advocate for Mental Health and EDs.

 

“I enjoy eating with my friends now,” she concluded, “I see it as bonding time with people when we eat together instead of consuming calories.”